Above: The returned illigitimate Son of the King arrives for vengeance and some ass-whipping Demi-God style. .

In Ancient Greece 1200 B.C., a queen succumbs to the lust of Zeus to bear a son promised to overthrow the tyrannical rule of the king and restore peace to a land in hardship. But this prince, Hercules, knows nothing of his real identity or his destiny.

He desires only one thing: the love of Hebe, Princess of Crete, who has been promised to his own brother.

When Hercules learns of his greater purpose, he must choose: to flee with his true love or to fulfill his destiny and become the true hero of his time. The story behind one of the greatest myths is revealed in this action-packed epic - a tale of love, sacrifice and the strength of the human spirit.

This version of Hercules gives us much more than the past offerings. Especially a chance to see Spartacus (Liam McIntyre) take up arms in the Gladiator arena just one more time. Albeit as the Capt of the Guard and Hercules sparring partner and 2nd in Command. The cinematography has learnty a lot from the action sequences of 300 and Spartacus productions as is evidently obvious in this movie.

The fight scenes are choreographed nicely and the script is well written for an obvious Hollywood "Big is best" movie attempt. Sadly though it seems to be the season for Hollywood to hash out old classics and remake comic book stories. Lately seeming to be thin on original material.




Regardless I give this movie 7 stars out of ten

******* - - -


I think I just watched an early sneak of the "300" sequel that isn't due until March. But for some reason, it's called "The Legend of Hercules".

I kid. But, clearly, director Renny Harlin (of "Die Hard 2" fame and "Cutthroat Island" infamy) and his CG-manufacturing minions wouldn't mind if you made that mistake, considering they have borrowed most of the visual tricks that have become the signature of that franchise. De-saturated color scheme? Check. Annoying stuttering slo-mo action sequences? Check. Legions of faceless warriors who don't require a SAG card? Right on.

Perhaps to camouflage that blatant co-opting, there are also snatches of "Gladiator", "Ben-Hur", "Spartacus", video-game-inspired arena matches and an aged scholar named Chiron who sounds as if he wandered in from a touring company of "Fiddler on the Roof".

In fact, one of the few original ideas, presumably to somehow justify the use of 3-D technology that is quickly growing out of favor with paying customers, is the repeated image of white objects that inexplicably flutter down from the sky and project into the audience. They could be ashes, rose petals or dandelion fluff—or all three.

My theory? These particles are Zeus's dandruff. After all, the god of thunder and Hercules's daddy has good reason to get his dander up. His half-human son is not only in a mess of a movie, he is in a mess of trouble onscreen thanks to the schemes of a tyrannical king of a stepfather who is so evil he practically twirls his beard.

Not helping matters is that Hercules is played by Kellan Lutz, best known as Emmett Cullen, the brawny joker of the vampire clan in the Twilight series. True, stepping into the sandals of the giants who have portrayed the legendary Greek strongman before—Steve Reeves, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno and even Ryan Gosling (go ahead and Google it) among them—can't be the easiest task.

However, if you are going to brave a genre as kitschy as this, you have to know how to slice the cheese with tongue-in-cheek finesse. And while Lutz might possess the beefcake to fill out his chest armor, he lacks the acting chops to make us much care about the fate of his gleaming hero who looks as if he just stepped out of a Beverly Hills salon. Not helping is that, like Superman, his character is pretty much invincible in every challenge he encounters.

Unfortunately, the rest of the cast offers little compensation. The primary roles are filled with mainly British and Australian unknowns, save for American actor Johnathan Schaech, who was hot stuff back when he starred in 1996's "That Thing You Do!"

Once Hercules's mortal mother Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) becomes impregnated by the seed-planting spirit of Zeus (an event that transpires in a bizarre bedroom scene that recalls "The Exorcist" but sexier) for the sake of delivering a savior who could bring peace to the land, all hell breaks loose. Her hot-headed husband, King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), immediately suspects the super-sized child is not his and takes measures to ensure the interloper's life is miserable when he comes of age.

His accomplice in this mission is elder son Iphicles (Liam Garrigan), who looks as if he could be the illegitimate spawn of Rowan Atkinson's Mr. Bean. Not only does the snotty brat resent that his mother and nearly everyone else favors Hercules (who goes by another non-god-like name initially but it really doesn't matter), but also that Mr. Muscles is in a hot-and-heavy relationship with the very model-pretty princess who is expected to be his intended.

This royal soap opera eventually causes Hercules to be sent off to certain doom while leading a group of warriors through Egypt. Instead, he handily survives every life-threatening situation he encounters and eventually avenges his wrong-doers. Blah, blah, blah.

It's a mystery why Harlin and his writers decided to eschew all the juicy bits of Herculean lore for this dull idealized interpretation. They could have had him undergoing the traditional 12 labors, facing off with such potentially cool opponents as the nine-headed Hydra and the Cretan bull instead of only slaying the most unrealistic movie lion since Bert Lahr in "The Wizard of Oz".

Who wouldn't want to see him snatch away the girdle of Amazon queen Hippolyta (which probably sounds more hubba-hubba than it actually is)? Perhaps, they did not want to be too similar to "Clash of the Titans". But why not steal from that, too?


Instead, there is much screen time devoted to Lutz and his luminous lady love bathing in scenic springs and rolling in zee hay. Although their romantic frolicking does lead to one of the film's lone laughs. When Iphicles inquires whether Hercules has taken the princess's "maidenhood," the bulky dude counters: "I assure you, brother (pregnant pause) it's none of your business."

It may or may not be a good thing that summer will bring a second attempt at reviving Hercules on the big screen with Dwayne Johnson in the lead and directed by Brett Ratner. But with the bar set this low, surely the performer formerly known as The Rock doesn't have to strain himself too hard to pump up the entertainment value.


Some people However didnt' enjoy this movie and rightly so ...


This movie… I don’ t even want to write this review because the movie was so bad. The trial of writing this review is harder than the actual trials of Hercules. I’ m not even going to waste your time with a long review.

I honestly didn’t care about the plot. Long story short, its Hercules who loves a princess named Hebe but she is betrothed to his brother and he gets sent off to war and he fights his way back. Thats it.


Performance- Over acting from the villains. Under acting from the heroes. I was just waiting for the porn music to pop in half the time between this poor acting and quality of film.four-awful-clips-from-the-legend-of-herculesThemes- What themes? There’s nothing redemptive here.

Just lazy, sloppy choreography and some of the weakest CGI used in a long time. For a budget of $50 million, I’ve literally seen better effects on a shoestring budget on youtube.

The quality of the film making is a top tier porno spoof at best and you just sit there in awe at how stupid the producers think you are. I literally saw stunt man take a spear, stick it under his arm and pretend to be hurt. Its that bad. The shots the director used were pretty much ripped from other much better films. The slow motion after every miss and hit is just repetitive and boring to watch.

Suspension of Disbelief- You would be enthralled cleaning a fish bowl than watching this movie.


Final thoughts- What made it worse for me was that I really wanted to see this movie. It hit all the tones for me, but its just a poor excuse for a movie. I wouldn’t even suggest renting it. Hell, I wouldn’t even suggest pirating the movie.

..... [ BUT HEY..... I really enjoyed it... Its still good entertainment. Not Great But good..]



...Just lazy, sloppy choreography and some of the weakest CGI used in a long time. For a budget of $50 million, I’ve literally seen better effects on a shoestring budget on youtube. .”.

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